When Trust Is Broken: How to Heal and Move Forward in Your Relationship
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It provides emotional security, fosters intimacy, and allows partners to feel safe with one another. However, trust can be fragile, and when it is broken, it can feel like the entire relationship is crumbling. Whether through small betrayals or significant breaches, the erosion of trust is painful and deeply unsettling. Yet, while rebuilding trust is challenging, it is not impossible. Healing can take many forms, and sometimes, moving forward may mean stepping away. Here, we explore the ways trust can be broken, the challenges of rebuilding it, and the steps partners can take to heal together—or apart.
How Trust is Broken in Relationships
Trust isn’t just shattered by the major betrayals we often think of, like infidelity. It can be chipped away over time through a variety of actions, both big and small. Here are some of the most common ways trust is broken:
Lies and Deception. Even small, seemingly insignificant lies can accumulate over time, leading one partner to question the honesty of the other.
Broken Promises. When one person consistently fails to keep their word—whether about big commitments or everyday things—it erodes reliability and trust.
Infidelity. Physical or emotional affairs are among the most profound betrayals in a relationship, as they challenge the core commitment of exclusivity and intimacy.
Lack of Emotional Support. Dismissing a partner’s feelings, invalidating their experiences, or consistently failing to be there in moments of need can lead to feelings of abandonment and mistrust.
Financial Dishonesty. Hiding purchases, secret bank accounts, or making significant financial decisions without a partner’s knowledge can create a deep sense of betrayal.
Disrespect and Betrayal of Boundaries. Overstepping agreed-upon boundaries—whether about personal space, friendships, or private matters—undermines trust and respect.
Neglect and Indifference. Over time, a lack of attention, care, and effort can make a partner feel unimportant, leading to a slow breakdown of trust.
The Difficulty of Healing from Broken Trust
Trust is difficult to rebuild because it is not just about the specific betrayal—it’s about what that betrayal represents. It shakes our sense of security, making us question whether we truly know our partner and whether the relationship is a safe place to be vulnerable.
Some breaches of trust are harder to recover from than others. For example, infidelity may be a dealbreaker for one person but something another couple chooses to work through. A pattern of small lies may seem insignificant at first but can accumulate over time, making it hard to discern truth from fiction. Factors such as personal values, past experiences, and the depth of the betrayal all influence whether a relationship can survive a breach of trust.
Healing is not just about the person who broke the trust putting in effort; it is also about the person who was hurt being willing and able to move forward. This process can be exhausting and emotionally taxing for both parties, and not every relationship will survive the journey. In some cases, the best form of healing is personal growth and self-reflection, rather than reconciliation.
Rebuilding Trust: Steps Toward Healing
For those who choose to work towards healing together, there are steps that both partners must take to rebuild safety and security within the relationship.
1. Honest and Open Communication
Transparency is essential in the rebuilding process. The partner who broke the trust must be completely honest moving forward, even when the truth is uncomfortable. This might include answering difficult questions, sharing feelings openly, and ensuring consistent communication.
2. Taking Responsibility
The person who broke the trust must take full accountability for their actions without defensiveness or shifting blame. This includes acknowledging the pain they caused and showing genuine remorse.
3. Demonstrating Change Through Actions
Words alone won’t rebuild trust—consistent actions over time will. If the betrayal involved secrecy, the partner must be willing to increase transparency. If it involves emotional neglect, they need to prioritize showing up for their partner consistently.
4. Establishing Boundaries and Expectations
Rebuilding trust requires setting clear boundaries about what is acceptable moving forward. This could mean discussing phone privacy, social media behavior, or expectations around communication and check-ins.
5. Practicing Patience and Understanding
Healing is not a linear process, and setbacks may occur. The person who was hurt may have lingering doubts, and the one who broke trust must be patient and understanding of the emotional aftermath.
6. Seeking Professional Help
Many couples find that couples counseling is an essential part of healing. A couples therapist can help navigate difficult conversations, provide guidance on rebuilding trust, and create a safe space for both partners to express their emotions. Sometimes, therapy may even be a non-negotiable condition for moving forward. Illuminative Self-Care Therapy offers couples a supportive space to explore their emotions while learning practical tools to rebuild trust and improve communication.
When Moving Forward Means Letting Go
Sometimes, healing from broken trust does not mean staying together. If the betrayal has fundamentally changed the way one partner sees the other, or if efforts to rebuild trust feel one-sided, it may be healthier to part ways. Ending a relationship does not mean failure—it means honoring one’s values, boundaries, and emotional well-being.
Healing after trust is broken can also be an opportunity for self-discovery. It can involve reflecting on personal needs, recognizing red flags for the future, and learning to communicate expectations more clearly in relationships moving forward.
Final Thoughts from a Couples Therapist
Rebuilding trust in a relationship is difficult, but not impossible. It requires honesty, commitment, and a genuine desire from both partners to heal together. However, it is also important to recognize that sometimes, the best path forward is apart. Whether through reconciliation or self-growth, trust can be restored—if not in the relationship, then within oneself. Couples therapy can be a crucial tool in this process, helping individuals and couples navigate their emotions and determine the best path forward. No matter the outcome, healing is always possible, and trust—whether in a partner or in oneself—can be rebuilt in time.
Ready to Rebuild? Couples Therapy in Los Angeles, CA
If you’re feeling stuck or unsure where to begin, therapy for couples can help. We’ll work together to identify the patterns that led to this moment and guide you in creating healthier ways to communicate and rebuild emotional safety. At Illuminative Self-Care Therapy, our therapy sessions create a safe, judgment-free space where both of you can unpack your emotions. Are you ready to start your healing journey?
Reach out here for a free consultation so we can chat.
Learn more about how couples therapy can help communication, and rebuild trust by exploring our blogs.
You don’t have to figure it all out on your own — we’re here to help you find a path forward.
Other Services I Offer in Los Angeles, CA & Las Vegas, Nevada
In addition to couples therapy, I provide individual therapy to support personal growth and self-discovery and family therapy to improve relationships and communication within families. Whatever your needs, Illuminative Self-care Therapy is here to help. Explore more of my services here!
