Couples Therapy
Gain the Awareness You Need to Strengthen Your Relationship
Relationships can be the most rewarding yet difficult part of life. They can be a source of comfort, understanding, and growth, allowing you to feel seen and loved. But as all things in life do, relationships evolve. Even positive changes, such as getting married and becoming parents can create challenges that you may not have foreseen. The change has taken a toll on your relationship but you haven't had the time to find your new normal. You keep going, trying to make it work and ignoring the growing distance between you. However, when you both try to talk it out? Neither of you are really listening. It feels as if you are both on different pages and refuse to acknowledge each other's feelings. You wish there was a way to get back to being the best versions of yourselves and enjoy your relationship again.
Maybe, past issues are seeping into your relationship. Whether these issues are from past romantic relationships or your childhood, they are causing tension and misunderstandings between you and your partner. You both want to talk about it but neither of you have the tools or were taught how to productively "fight" or have disagreements. This has made you both feel stuck and frustrated, ultimately leading to a breakdown in communication and connection. It feels like if you don't find a resolution soon, then there won't be a relationship left to save. You want to be more aware of each other's needs and learn how to communicate effectively, but you don't know where to start.
Signs You Could Benefit From Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can be beneficial for any relationship, no matter how big or small your problems may seem. Therapy doesn't have to be reserved for when your relationship is in crisis, but it can be a preventive measure to ensure the longevity and health of your relationship. The following are some signs that you may benefit from couples therapy:
Constant fighting, arguments, or unresolved issues that never seem to be fully resolved, leaving both partners feeling frustrated or misunderstood.
Feeling stuck in conversations where the same topics or conflicts are revisited without progress, leading to feelings of hopelessness or exhaustion.
Both partners have entered the "I just do my own thing" zone, where emotional connection has been replaced by distance or independence, potentially weakening the bond between them.
The inability to resolve challenges on your own, despite trying, which creates a need for support from a neutral and knowledgeable party.
Being a couples therapist, my goal is to provide a supportive and empathetic space for you and your partner to work through challenges and strengthen your relationship. I understand that every couple is unique and will tailor therapy to fit your needs. Together, we can explore ways to improve communication, deepen connection, and gain the awareness needed for a fulfilling and loving partnership. Whether you're dating or married, or have been together for months or years, couples therapy can bring immense benefits to your relationship and help you both grow together.
The Benefits of Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is all about helping partners communicate better and work through challenges in their relationship. Whether it’s trust issues, intimacy struggles, or just feeling stuck, therapy can make a big difference. Here are some specific benefits of couples therapy:
A dedicated and constructive space for your relationship’s growth: Couples therapy offers a set space that is solely focused on your relationship and its betterment. This intentionality helps to create opportunities for meaningful reflection and growth.
Identifying and addressing root issues: Oftentimes, relationship challenges stem from deeper issues below the surface. Therapy supports couples in uncovering these root causes, allowing for direct and productive conversations that foster understanding and resolution.
A neutral, supportive third party: Having a neutral therapist involved provides an invaluable perspective, free of preconceived notions about you or your relationship. This creates an environment where both partners can feel comfortable expressing themselves openly and honestly.
Space for progress tracking and celebration of growth: Therapy not only helps identify what needs to change but also tracks your progress as a couple. This allows you to see the strides you’re making toward creating the type of relationship you both deserve.
Facilitating healthy communication: Saying things out loud in a productive, safe space can open up avenues for deeper understanding and forward movement. Having these conversations in a guided setting ensures they are constructive and helps turn difficult moments into opportunities for connection.
Couples therapy at Illuminative Self-Care Therapy is a space where you can work on becoming aware of each other's needs, restoring connection, and learning how to communicate effectively. Whether you are a newly married couple struggling to adjust or a long-term partnership, couples therapy can help bring your relationship back into balance. So you can continue to grow and evolve together, as individuals and as a couple.
More About Couples Therapy...
You're ready to address the challenges in your relationship, and you've heard about couples therapy. But before committing to it, you may have questions about what it entails and whether it's worth the time, money, and emotional investment. As a couples therapist in Los Angeles, I understand these concerns and want to provide you with some insight into the benefits of couples therapy. Here are some frequently asked questions about couples therapy to help you make an informed decision.
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Yes! Couples therapy is a space where you can not only address pressing matters but also use it as a sounding board. It's a safe place where you can explore and express your feelings, thoughts, and concerns without fear of judgment. The therapist acts as a mediator, facilitating healthy communication patterns between partners and helping you gain new perspectives on your relationship. Therapy is also a place of accountability, where you and your partner can commit to making positive changes for the betterment of your relationship.
Your relationship, as all things do, evolves over time, and not all changes are positive. Sometimes, unhealthy patterns or unresolved issues can strain your relationship. Couples therapy gives you the opportunity to identify and work through these challenges. Think of therapy as a place to get a tune-up on your relationship, no matter where you’re at in it. It can be very helpful to check in with a neutral party to make sure the relationship is operating as smoothly and as productively as it can. Your therapist will help you develop the tools to navigate these challenges and strengthen your relationship.
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When it comes to couples therapy, it is extremely helpful for couples to address relationships concerns, together, and with the same couples therapist. When individual partners see an individual therapist to address their relationship issues, the view is one-sided. It's difficult to understand the other partner's perspective when you're not in therapy together. By working with one therapist, both partners can express their thoughts and feelings in a neutral, safe space. The couples therapist acts as an objective third party who can help navigate conversations, identify triggers, and guide you toward effective communication and problem-solving.
At Illuminative Self-Care Therapy, I don't see couples on an individual basis, unless you have met your goals and are ending treatment. However, once individual treatment has begun, you can no longer utilize me as a couples therapist. This also applies to my individual clients wanting to begin couples therapy. I implement this boundary because I believe that this can create a bias and can be unsupportive of the couples as a unit. The support then becomes skewed toward the client I am also seeing individually. For instance, one partner may present a concerning issue about the other partner, and this can create a divide in the therapeutic space. By seeing me as a couple, you and your partner can address issues together and work towards healing and strengthening your relationship as a team.
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Every couple is unique and their needs vary. Yet, there are many circumstances where couples therapy once a month can be enough. Now, if your current issues are severe, meeting once a week or bi-weekly can be very beneficial. For instance, if you're dealing with infidelity or trauma, more frequent sessions may be necessary to address and heal from these significant issues. Sometimes meeting once a month may be necessary. This allows you and your partner time to put into practice all of the things that were discussed in the session. Or, it can be used as a check-in on all you're doing as a couple to make the necessary changes outside of therapy. These types of check-in sessions can come after your goals are met and for those who are in the "maintenance phase" of their newly learned healthy behavior change. They can range from once a month to every other month, or even as needed.
As always, it's essential to communicate with your therapist about what feels most beneficial for you and your partner. In the early stages of couples therapy in Los Angeles, things can go well to start, and that once-a-month meeting can be a great "check-up" time. However, some couples may need more frequent sessions to address ongoing issues and maintain progress. It's all about finding what works best for you as a couple.
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While I can't speak to the exact statistics, I can say that couples therapy has proven to be highly effective in helping couples overcome challenges and maintain healthy relationships. It's not a guarantee that all couples will stay together after therapy, as some may choose to end the relationship, but it does increase the chances of staying together and having a fulfilling relationship. By simply being in therapy, you gain more knowledge of yourself, and that knowledge can lead you to leave the relationship or use those insights to make the relationship fuller and address ongoing issues.
Couples therapy is an investment in yourself, your partner, and the future of your relationship. It can be a transformative experience that leads to more open communication, stronger connection, and overall improvement in the quality of your relationship. So if you're considering couples therapy, know that it is a valuable resource for couples who want to grow individually and as a couple.
Have More Questions About Couples Therapy?
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The cost of couples therapy in Los Angeles depends on the therapist and the practice. Each therapist sets their own rates based on their expertise, experience, and location. At Illuminative Self-Care Therapy, couples therapy sessions are $200 per 60-minute couples session. While I do not accept insurance, I can provide "Superbills" to be submitted to your insurance company for out-of-network coverage. However, it is highly recommended to call your insurance to see if they accept Superbills before starting therapy.
Couples therapy is an investment in the health and well-being of your relationship. It's a valuable resource that can lead to long-term benefits and growth as a couple. It can allow you to recognize your own individuality so that resentment doesn't build in the future. It's important to consider the cost as an investment in your relationship, an act of self-care, and a healthier future for both you and your partner.
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At my practice, Illuminative Self-Care Therapy, I do not accept insurance. However, even with insurance, it is not guaranteed to cover couples therapy. This is due to the diagnoses for couples therapy (usually known as a Z code) often doesn't meet the criteria for insurance coverage. Additionally, there is the time and energy to get insurance to cover any part of your therapy, which can be spent on the work itself. It can result in not being covered and a headache during the process.
Therefore, the cost of couples therapy without insurance in California varies depending on the therapist and their practice. At Illuminative Self-Care Therapy, a 60-minute session is $200 for couples therapy. I do provide Superbills for clients, and if your insurance does accept one for couples therapy, then you may get reimbursed a percentage of your out-of-pocket payment. Additional forms of payment I take are HSA and FSA cards as a workaround to utilize insurance funds. With that being said, I want to work with you to make therapy accessible and my practice a space where you choose to have your sessions.
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First and foremost, a couples therapist is a licensed therapist who has specialized training and experience working with couples. This can include training in various modalities such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), or Gottman Method Couples Therapy. They are the best type of therapist to see for couples because they have the expertise and knowledge to help you navigate your relationship in a safe, supportive, and effective way. Outside of credentials, the best therapist for couples is someone whom both parties feel connected to and understood by.
When choosing a therapist it is important to develop a good rapport so that you are able to accept challenges and push back further into your relationship. Also, choosing someone who is neutral and able to support and see both sides and perspectives. Their end goal should be for the couple as a unit to thrive, not who is right or wrong. Their role isn't to take sides, make decisions on your behalf, or fix your problems. Instead, they provide a safe space for both individuals to express their thoughts and feelings and work together towards finding solutions and creating a healthier relationship. As a couples therapist in Los Angeles, I strive to create a non-judgmental and empathetic environment for couples to explore their issues and find resolutions. I hope to create a space that you choose to have sessions in over and beyond your 'maintenance phase' if needed. So, if you're ready to invest in the health of your relationship, I encourage you to reach out and schedule a couples therapy session.
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As a therapist in Los Angeles, I recommend starting with one that is in your state of residence. From there, you can look into options such as online therapy or in-person sessions. If you have a strong preference for either, seek a therapist who can meet you in the way you would like. It's important to feel comfortable as you work with your therapist. Once you have decided on those factors, make a list of what else is important to you before you shop around. What approach or type of therapy do you prefer, gender, experience with a specific population, or specializations? Then being to shop around for a therapist and have several consultations. See who you and your partner connect with best and who has an approach you align with that will support your challenges.
Remember, you AND your partner should feel good about the therapist before agreeing to a first session. The connection is essential for trust and success in couples therapy. Couples therapy is an investment in your relationship and finding the right therapist is crucial for its success. So take the time to find one that meets both of your needs and feels like a good fit. At Illuminative Self-Care Therapy, I strive to create a safe, welcoming, and non-judgmental space for couples to work on their relationships. I believe that therapy should be accessible and tailored to each individual's unique needs. If you have any questions or would like to schedule a consultation, please don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here to support you on your journey towards a healthier and happier relationship.
I Want to Create a Space Where You Can Be Your Authentic Selves
Greetings! I am a couples therapist and the owner of Illuminative Self-Care Therapy. I am married and have been with my partner for almost 12 years and continue to do the work to be in a healthy partnership. My goal for this type of therapy is to cultivate a space where you both can feel comfortable expressing yourselves without fear of judgment or criticism. When you feel seen and heard, you're able to let your guard down and be your true, authentic self. I have worked with individuals from diverse backgrounds and with varying challenges in their relationships and understand that each couple is unique. They all come with their own set of challenges and strengths. That's why I approach every therapy session with an open mind and no preconceived notions. I make it my utmost priority to listen carefully to both sides, understand your individual perspectives, and help facilitate effective communication and problem-solving techniques.
The first step I take in consultations and sessions is to ensure both parties feel equal in the process. I want you both to feel comfortable enough to share your emotions and opinions without feeling attacked or dismissed, which is crucial for effective communication and problem-solving. To do this, we will put some ground rules in place: This usually includes (to name a few) being mindful of the language and tone used in session, using “I” statements when applicable, and clarifying what effective communication and listening looks like so that both parties can be on the same page. We will also work together to establish goals for your relationship that will help to guide ongoing therapy sessions. This way, we can work towards tangible progress and measurable results.
I Believe That Therapy is Not Just for Addressing Problems But Also for Strengthening Relationships
Many people tend to seek therapy when their relationship is in crisis or on the brink of ending. But what if we took a more proactive approach and viewed therapy as a tool for strengthening our relationships, just like going to the gym to strengthen our bodies? In sessions we will work on improving your level of communication and understanding of one another, which can be helpful at any stage of a relationship. This will be through various methods such as highlighting unhelpful cycles and patterns in the dynamic, identifying love languages and apology styles, and even helping you to make the connections between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in your relationship. When it comes to modalities, I tailor my approach to each couple based on their unique needs and preferences. Some of the approaches I use include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy among others. I also have developed my own methods to map out communication processes, understand what is best for the couple to resolve conflict, create structure to navigate difficult moments; and overall, I introduce and collaborate with you to implement new techniques or skills to support the general health of the relationship.
My goal is to provide you both with tools and strategies to create an even playing field for both partners, allowing you to address challenges transparently and effectively. In our work together, I address immediate concerns while also delving into deeper topics such as love languages, apology styles, boundaries, and attachment patterns. Together, we’ll explore essential elements of relationships, including trust, roommate dynamics, parenting, and navigating the challenges of "relationship wedges." To keep the momentum going between sessions, I’ll give you practical homework that helps you build on what you’ve learned and apply it to your everyday life. I want you to have the awareness and skills necessary to create the healthy, happy relationship you desire and deserve.
Deepen Your Awareness and Rebuild Your Connection with Couples Therapy in Los Angeles
Thank you for considering me as your couples therapist. I know that reaching out for therapy, especially to address challenges in your relationship, can feel like a big step. At Illuminative Self-Care Therapy, my goal is to provide a space where both of you can feel heard, respected, and understood without judgment. This is a place where we can tackle the hard conversations, uncover the root of your challenges, and work toward building the relationship you truly want. Therapy isn’t about placing blame—it’s about creating a foundation for growth and connection. If you’re ready to take that first step toward a stronger, healthier partnership, I’d be honored to work with you. Here’s an idea of couples therapy process:
Learn more about me and my services
Schedule a first session (and follow-up session)
Working together to create the relationship you both deserve
Other Therapy Services at Illuminative Self-Care Therapy
Couples therapy is only one of the services provided at Illuminative Self-Care Therapy. In addition to couples therapy, I also offer individual, family, and group therapy for those seeking support in other relationships or personal struggles. I strive to provide a safe and supportive space for individuals to explore their challenges, build self-awareness, and develop practical tools for personal growth and healing. If you are struggling with individual issues that may be impacting you, I would love to be a support in your life. Let’s work towards creating a happier and healthier version of yourself.