Setting New Year's Resolutions Together: Insights from a Couples Therapist in Los Angeles, CA
Entering another year, many people turn to New Year’s resolutions to kick-start personal growth, improve their health, or achieve new career goals. But what if this year, you took a different approach to the tradition of resolutions? Instead of focusing solely on individual aspirations, what if you and your partner set meaningful goals together to strengthen and enhance your relationship?
As a couples therapist supporting partnerships in Los Angeles, I see couples who come to therapy longing for deeper connection, more effective communication, and stronger emotional intimacy. A New Year’s resolution focused on your relationship can be a beautiful way to rejuvenate your bond and create shared dreams. In this blog post, I’ll explore the significance of setting relationship goals as a couple, how doing so can strengthen your connection, and offer some ideas for resolutions that can help you create a healthier and more loving partnership in 2025.
Why Setting Relationship Goals Matters
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to become caught up in the day-to-day grind—work, family, social commitments, individual goals, etc. Over time, the focus you had on your relationship can get lost and this can lead to disconnection. Unintentionally, partners may drift apart or take each other for granted. One of the best ways to counteract this drift is by intentionally setting goals together that prioritize and nurture the relationship.
When you set resolutions as a couple, you're actively choosing to invest in each other and your partnership. These goals can serve as a reminder of the importance of the relationship, help you stay aligned with each other’s needs and desires, and encourage mutual support and accountability. Setting intentions together creates an opportunity for both of you to reflect on what’s working well and what areas need improvement. These types of conversations can lead to a stronger sense of trust, respect, and understanding.
A Fresh Start for the New Year: Relationship Goals as a Reset
A new year is the perfect time to reflect on the past and reset for the future. Just as individuals can benefit from making personal resolutions, relationships can also be revitalized through the process of goal-setting. This time of year gives you both the chance to hit the “reset” button if needed, recalibrate your priorities, and/or set new intentions for how you want to experience the upcoming year as a couple.
While goal-setting can feel daunting or challenging at times, it doesn’t have to be a monumental task. A conversation with your partner about what you both hope to achieve together in 2025 can lead to a more profound sense of unity and understanding. Whether it’s spending more quality time together, improving communication, or addressing lingering challenges in the relationship, these discussions can be a powerful catalyst for creating positive change. Here are some examples of how to initiate this conversation in a way that encourages collaboration and mutual understanding:
Start with a Positive Reflection
This approach begins the conversation on a positive note, acknowledging the current state of the relationship and transitioning into future possibilities. It shows that you value the relationship and want to enhance it further.
Example: "I’ve been thinking about all the good things we’ve experienced together this year (name a few). And I wonder how we can build off of this and make 2025 even better. What are some things you’d love for us to focus on in our relationship for next year?"
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions invite your partner to share their thoughts without feeling pressured to come up with a "right" answer. It sets the tone for a collaborative discussion rather than a one-sided conversation.
Example: "I was thinking I’d love for us to set some goals together so we can have an even stronger connection. What’s something you think we could focus on and improve in our relationship this coming year?"
Tie It to the New Year Theme
Framing the conversation around the new year creates an opportunity to discuss relationship goals as part of the broader tradition of personal growth and improvement. It emphasizes that this is an exciting and positive initiative.
Example: "With the new year coming up, it feels like a great time for a fresh start. What if we sat down and set some relationship goals for 2025? I think it could be a fun way to grow together and make this year even better than the last."
Use Humor to Lighten the Mood
Adding a bit of humor or lightheartedness to the conversation can make it feel less intimidating and more enjoyable. It creates a lighthearted atmosphere where both of you can explore ideas without feeling overly serious. (This approach should be gaged, as you do not want what you are communicating to be misconstrued or disregarded.)
Example: You can reminisce on a fun moment that happened this past year and can follow it up with "That was a good time, but what if we added something a little different for next year—what if we make New Year’s resolutions that involve us making memories more regularly? I’m thinking things like more date nights or trying out something new together. I’m curious, what would your dream couple’s resolution look like for us?"
Suggest a ‘Relationship Vision Board’ or ‘Goal List’
Suggesting a tangible activity like creating a vision board or writing down a list of goals can make the conversation feel more interactive and creative. It provides a clear way to visualize and articulate what you both want to achieve together.
Example: "I came across this idea of doing a relationship vision board or a list of goals for the year ahead, and I thought it could be really fun for us. We could make a date night out of it and jot down what we want more of in our relationship, like quality time or maybe even exploring couples therapy to work on our communication. What do you think?"
How Goal Setting Can Strengthen Your Bond
Setting goals as a couple isn’t just about making a list of things you’d like to accomplish—it's about sharing a vision and working together toward it. A few ways goal-setting can positively impact your relationship:
Improved Communication
Setting goals forces you to communicate about what you both want, need, and value. It invites open, honest conversations about your relationship dynamics, helping you to listen more deeply to each other’s thoughts and concerns. By clearly articulating your desires for the future, you build a stronger foundation for effective communication.
Increased Emotional Intimacy
When you take the time to discuss your hopes, fears, and dreams with each other, you naturally build emotional intimacy. Setting relationship goals often requires vulnerability, which can strengthen your emotional connection. This process encourages both partners to be more open and emotionally available to each other, fostering trust and understanding.
A Shared Vision
Setting goals creates a sense of teamwork in the relationship. You both work together toward a common vision, which can help you feel more united and aligned. Whether you’re striving for healthier habits, a more adventurous lifestyle, or better conflict-resolution skills, having mutual goals brings you closer as a couple.
Accountability and Support
When you set goals as a team, you hold each other accountable. If one partner struggles to meet a goal, the other can offer support, encouragement, and understanding. This mutual accountability can help both partners feel more motivated and invested in the success of their relationship.
A Sense of Progress
Working toward shared goals gives you both a sense of accomplishment and progress. Achieving these goals, no matter how big or small, can give you both something to celebrate and bring you even closer together.
Examples of Resolutions to Set as a Couple
The beauty of setting New Year’s resolutions as a couple is that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Your resolutions should reflect what’s important to both of you. To help kick start some of those ideas, consider a few of these relationship goals for 2025:
Prioritize Quality Time Together
In busy relationships, it’s easy to let quality time slip by the wayside. This year, resolve to spend more intentional time together. This could mean setting aside specific nights for date nights, planning weekend getaways, or simply turning off your devices and spending an evening talking, cooking dinner, or enjoying a hobby together.
Work on Effective Communication
Communication is the backbone of any successful relationship, but many couples struggle with it. If you and your partner find yourselves arguing in circles, misinterpreting each other, or having difficulty expressing your needs, a great goal for the new year might be to work on your communication. This can include learning better listening skills, practicing more empathy, or attending couples therapy to improve how you connect with each other.
Develop Healthier Conflict Resolution Skills
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how you handle it can make a world of difference. Set a goal this year to develop healthier ways of resolving disagreements. This might include learning how to stay calm during arguments, using "I" statements instead of blame, and finding solutions that work for both partners.
Commit to Physical and Emotional Wellbeing
Setting goals around health, fitness, and emotional wellbeing is a great way to enhance your bond. You could commit to exercising together, cooking healthier meals, or supporting each other’s mental health by practicing mindfulness and self-care.
Explore New Shared Activities
A fun and exciting resolution might be to take up a new hobby or activity together. This could be anything from learning a new language, taking a dance class, doing yoga together, or traveling to new places. Trying new things as a couple fosters a sense of adventure and helps create lasting memories.
Build a Financial Plan Together
Financial stress can take a toll on any relationship, so making a joint resolution to build a financial plan for the future can bring you closer. Whether it’s budgeting, saving for a big purchase, or setting long-term financial goals, doing this together shows commitment to each other’s future and helps reduce tension around money.
Start Couples Therapy in Los Angeles, CA
One of the most proactive resolutions you can make as a couple is to start couples therapy. Whether you’re experiencing challenges or simply want to strengthen your relationship, therapy provides a safe, supportive space for both partners to explore their feelings, improve communication, and deepen their connection. A therapist can help you navigate difficult conversations, address unresolved issues, and create a roadmap for a more fulfilling relationship.
Why Couples Therapy? A couples therapist can offer unbiased guidance, teach you tools to communicate more effectively and help you explore the underlying patterns in your relationship that may be hindering growth. Therapy can help you both feel more supported and empowered as you work toward your goals, and it can be an incredibly rewarding experience to embark on together.
Making Resolutions Stick
While setting New Year’s resolutions is a positive step, the real key to success lies in follow-through. To make sure your resolutions as a couple stick, it’s important to:
Check in regularly: Schedule periodic check-ins to assess your progress, celebrate achievements, and discuss challenges.
Be patient: Remember that change takes time, and it’s okay to slip up. What matters is that you keep working together to improve.
Support each other: Be each other’s cheerleader throughout the year. Show up for your partner and be understanding when they face setbacks.
Adjust as needed: Life changes, and so do goals. Be flexible in adjusting your resolutions as circumstances evolve.
Start 2025 with a Commitment to Each Other
Setting relationship goals is a powerful way to bring you and your partner closer together in the new year. By making resolutions as a team, you can strengthen your bond, improve your communication, and create lasting memories. Whether you’re focused on spending more quality time together, learning to resolve conflicts in healthier ways, or taking the step to start couples therapy, the act of setting goals together fosters connection and growth.
If you and your partner are ready to make this year the best yet for your relationship, I invite you to take the next step and book a consultation with me to see if my couples therapy services can be of support. As a couples therapist in Los Angeles CA, I can help guide you through the process of setting meaningful goals, improving communication, and working through challenges that may arise as a couple. With the space we’d create at Illuminative Self-Care Therapy, we can build the foundation for a stronger, healthier, and more loving relationship with you and your partner.
Shaffrayne (Shay) Solomon, LMFT
Connect with a Couples Therapist in Los Angeles, CA
Ready to strengthen your relationship in 2025? Setting meaningful goals together is a powerful way to nurture your connection, improve communication, and create lasting memories. If you and your partner are ready to explore how couples therapy can help you achieve your goals, I’m here to guide you.
Contact me for more details or Book a consultation with me here.
Discover more about how couples therapy can help partnerships by reading my blogs.
Let’s work together to make this year your best one yet as a couple.
Other Services I Offer In Addition to Couples Counseling
At Illuminative Self-Care Therapy, I provide a range of services to support your personal and relational growth. In addition to couples therapy, I offer family therapy to improve family dynamics and communication and individual therapy for personal healing and self-discovery. Explore my services here. Whatever your needs, I'm here to help guide you toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.
